


'Cause you said forever, (now I drive alone past your street)

by Cor321



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, Jace has a lot of emotions that he just has trouble expressing, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Post Break Up, Second Chances, Self Esteem Issues, Simon is a wizard with words and Lyrics, Some times people make mistakes, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29085201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cor321/pseuds/Cor321
Summary: Jace wasn't sure if he was ready to see his ex Simon preform at a local bar, but somehow Clary and Izzy managed to convince him to join the crew to watch. Something he wasn't counting on though, for Simon to preform a new song he wrote that hits a little too close to home.orA song fic where Simon preforms Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo and Jace's heart breaks.
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	'Cause you said forever, (now I drive alone past your street)

**Author's Note:**

> So I know I am a little late to the party, this song has been getting a lot of much deserved hype. It inspired me to write a little Jimon which I am never going to be mad about. I hope you all enjoy this little bit of hurt comfort <3

Jace was leaning against the brick wall outside the bar when Clary and Izzy, who had begged him to come tonight, walked up. The thing was, his ex Simon was going to be performing tonight and he hadn’t seen him since breaking things off 2 months prior. He knows he hurt Simon, and the thought of seeing the wreckage he caused tore him up and made him nauseous every time he even thought about seeing him again. But the girls were insistent, they kept mentioning how hard Simon had worked on these songs. Even though he and Simon weren’t together anymore, they all wanted things to go back to how they were with the 6 of them together.

Clary and Izzy led the group, including Magnus and Alec, inside the bar. Jace saw the stage and noticed Simon setting up a keyboard and his guitar.  _ Breathe _ , Jace thought to himself. He felt like he was going to be sick.

Alec looked back at him, following his eye line to the stage, “you okay man?”

Jace swallowed the lump in his throat, “yeah, I’m just going to get myself a drink.” Alec nodded, following the girls and Magnus to a table close to the stage. Jace walked up to the bar and ordered a shot of fireball and a rum and coke. Tonight wasn’t about enjoying a beer, he saw no other way to get through it other than getting drunk.

He walked over to the table where his siblings are sat with the rum and coke in hand, the shot he ordered already downed. They talked between themselves while they waited for the club to fill up a bit more. At some point the others had gone to get their own drinks, only to come back and fall back into their same comfortable conversation, it felt nice. For the first time that night Jace felt relaxed, that was until Simon walked up to their table just before his set started.

Jace felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. Simon was there, laughing and smiling with their group of friends and Jace  _ longed _ to have that again. He really didn’t have anyone to blame but himself, he had broken up with Simon. Simon had slowly but surely torn down the walls he had up and Jace couldn’t have him seeing the person underneath the cocky persona, the small insignificant one. He wouldn’t have been able to deal with the fall out of Simon breaking his heart. So he did the only thing he thought he could do, he broke Simon’s first.

Jace downed the rest of his drink, an excuse to get up from the table and take a breather from the emotions that were ambushing him. As he got up Simon turned to look at him, and placed his hand on Jace’s arm, keeping him there. “Jace,” he said, his voice soft. “Thank you for coming. I know it couldn’t have been easy, but seriously I’m really glad you’re here.” 

“Of course.” Jace choked out before going back to the bar and getting another drink, thankfully he had some sense and ordered a water as well. The bartender gave him a knowing smile as he made his drinks. Jace opened and closed his hands, trying to get his breath to even out. He knew he could do this, it was just proving to be more difficult than he initially thought.

Jace walked back to the table as Simon was climbing onto the stage. Alec gave him that same knowing look the bartender did. He sent Alec a nod, letting him know that he was okay and turned to face forward, downing the water while Simon introduced himself.

The first few songs that Simon performed were his tried and true pieces. Jace had missed the way Simon lost himself in the music and the atmosphere he created never failed to take Jace’s breath away. This was where Simon belonged, baring his heart and soul for the audience. Jace was worried that the spark Simon had would have been extinguished. He searched for it in the first couple of songs, and they sounded amazing like they always did, but they were missing something Jace couldn’t quite place. By the third song though, Jace saw the familiar glint in his eyes and he let out the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.

He looked around him and everyone was having a great time, their eyes trained on Simon, their heads bouncing to the rhythm of the guitar. When that song ended he put his guitar on the stand and adjusted his microphone so that he could play the keyboard and sing at the same time.

“Okay, everyone I am going to slow it down now. I wasn’t sure I was going to do this song, but,” Simon paused letting out a breath while he scanned the crowd and landed on Jace, “I just need-- I just need to get this out.” Jace noticed Simon fiddling with his fingers while he was introducing the song, everything in him wanted to protect Simon from that nervousness and anxiety but he knew that wasn’t his place anymore.

**_I got my driver's license last week_ **

**_Just like we always talked about_ **

**_'Cause you were so excited for me_ **

**_To finally drive up to your house_ **

**_But today I drove through the suburbs_ **

**_Crying 'cause you weren't around_ **

As the first melancholy chords played, Jace felt his heart wrench. The club was completely silent except for Simon’s voice floating throughout it. Jace could hear the sadness in his tone and it was like a punch in the gut, Simon was forever the optimist and to hear the hurt in his voice made Jace hate what he did even more.

**_And you're probably with that blonde girl_ **

**_Who always made me doubt_ **

**_She's so much older than me_ **

**_She's everything I'm insecure about_ **

**_Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs_ **

**_'Cause how could I ever love someone else?_ **

Jace thought back to Kaelie, what a fuckin mistake she was. He put videos of them on his Instagram story, knowing that Simon was likely to see them. How could he have been so stupid? Simon was everything she wasn’t, he was kind, talented and the most giving and loyal person anyone could ask for. He knew in that moment that he would never be able to do better than Simon. No one would ever be able to compare to the way Simon made him feel and to have that out of his grasp broke something inside Jace that he didn’t even know he had. Even as he sang the last line Jace couldn’t get his hopes up, because he knew Simon could do so much better.

**_And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one_ **

**_And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone_ **

**_Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me_ **

**_'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street_ **

As the chorus built, Jace couldn’t take his eyes off of Simon, goosebumps forming on his skin. God, he was so not okay. He tried to wrack his brain with ways to tell Simon just how heartbroken he was as well, but it all just felt so insignificant to the way Simon expressed everything in the lyrics he sang.

**_And all my friends are tired_ **

**_Of hearing how much I miss you, but_ **

**_I kinda feel sorry for them_ **

**_'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah_ **

Jace’s mind brought him back to the endless nights they spent talking and laughing. Simon had somehow found a way to break down all the walls he spent so long building, he knew a part of him that even his siblings had never really seen. On the surface Jace exuded confidence and an air of not really caring about anything or anyone. The truth was though, Jace always felt things so deeply and he tried so hard to be what everyone else needed him to be. Simon had never asked anything of him though, he never needed Jace to be the strong one, or the brave one. Simon had only ever asked him to be true to himself, he even helped Jace find that within himself. Jace was always better with Simon, yet he ruined it all because he couldn’t stand the thought of disappointing him when Simon eventually realized that he didn’t really like the person Jace became.

Jace got up and finished his drink. He couldn’t hear the rest of the song, because it all just reminded him of everything he couldn’t have. He walked across the crowd toward the patio--

**_Red lights, stop signs_ **

**_I still see your face in the white cars, front yards_ **

**_Can't drive past the places we used to go to_ **

**_'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)_ **

Jace was in the middle of the audience when Simon started singing the bridge. His eyes were closed, feeling every note and lyric. Jace stopped in his place and the tears threatened to fall. Simon couldn’t still love him, after all that he did to him. Jace closed his eyes and shook his head before continuing to walk toward the exit sign.

**_I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one_ **

**_And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone_ **

**_'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me_ **

**_'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street_ **

**_Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street_ **

The tears were already falling before he reached the exit, with one last look toward Simon as he sang the last couple lines, his voice barely a whisper. Jace desperately needed some fresh air, he needed to feel something besides the suffocating dread that surrounded him in the bar. In the background he heard Simon thanking the crowd and saying goodbye before the DJ took over in the interlude. Jace leaned his head against the brick wall letting out the sob he hadn’t realized he was holding in.

The door slammed closed, surprising Jace as he didn’t hear anyone coming over his own sobs and the music booming in the club. When he saw who it was, his breath was stolen again. Simon was standing in front of him, tears streaming down his face that mirrored Jace’s own.

“Simon,” Jace breathed out, his voice threatening to break. He didn’t have a chance to continue before Simon was stepping forward and pulling him into an all consuming kiss. His world was spinning, his only anchor was Simon. He fit his hands into the spots they knew all too well, one on Simon’s waist and one at the nape of his neck pulling him even closer. There was no air left when they pulled apart, both of them fighting to catch their breath. 

Jace tried his best to show how sorry he was, his eyes pleading with Simon. “Did you mean it?” Jace whispered.

“Every word.” Simon said softly. He brought his hand up to Jace’s face, “I could feel you pulling back from me Jace, but god, I never stopped loving you.”

The tears started falling again before Jace croaked out, “but how could you?”

“Jace, baby.” Simon's voice broke as he said the pet name Jace longed to hear. “You think you are so unlovable, but ever part of me loves you. Everytime you show me a new facet of yourself I can’t wait to know the next.” Jace can’t help the sobs that rippled through him. 

“But, I broke your heart, with nothing but a text.” Jace said, trying his best to guard himself, his heart if this wasn’t going to go the way that he ached for it to go.

“I didn’t understand until I wrote that song, got out my anger and hurt feelings. It was then that I realized how much I still loved you. And then I saw you here tonight, and I saw the pain in your eyes while I was singing. I know you still love me too baby.”

“I was so damn scared, I still am. I’m terrified that you won’t like me,” Jace whispered. “When you broke down all those walls, I realized I didn’t even really know myself. I just-- how can you love someone who has a hard time loving themself?” Jace couldn’t even look Simon in the eye, but Simon, as gentle as he always was, pulled up his chin as he rubbed his thumb along Jace’s cheek.

“I will fight everyday to make sure you see how fucking amazing you are.” Simon said with a smile, it broke for a second though as he looked away. “That is, if you’ll let me.”

Jace couldn’t help himself, he pulled Simon back into a bruising kiss, it had all the passion and longing that had been threatening to burst out all night. He hoped he could convey just how much he wanted to try, and just how much he missed having his best friend by his side. As Simon walked him back against the wall, his arms bracketing him on either side, Jace felt all the tension and hurt from the last couple of months melt away. They had a lot to talk about, Jace knew that, and there were so many things that he had to apologize for. But, for the first time in what felt like forever, Jace felt like his feet were on solid ground again.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you are curious about the song, it is [drivers license](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmDBbnmKpqQ) by Olivia Rodrigo.  
> I also found a crazy good cover by [Leroy Sanchez](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIhHKgP4Ndo%22) that I felt like Simon would kind of sound like. 
> 
> Thank you so much to [Lex](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notquiteascrazy/pseuds/notquiteascrazy) for beta reading this fic (who btw at the time of writing this A/N she still hasn't listen to the song so...)
> 
> If you all want to join a community surrounded by people who love Shadowhunters too and are just all around great people the [Malec Discord Server](discord.gg/GY8jT4x) is the place for you!


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